Wine News Roundup: Cheesy Celebrity Edition

All the latest wine fodder for your next dentist appointment, cocktail party or pre-trial hearing. You’re welcome.

Wine and Water. There seems to be a polar shift happening in the universe[1]. Somms are now becoming water experts leaving wine behind[2], and Italy has started filling their fountains with wine instead of water[3]. What a time to be alive.

Wine Fountain For The Win.
Wine Fountain For The Win. (C) Dora Sarchese VineyardWine and Cheese.

Wine and Cheese

a. There’s a reason you love to pair wine and cheese, and it’s apparently scientific fact that they go together like Peas and Carrots. A study published by very knowledgeable researchers has found that cheese gives wines a more pleasant flavor, and decreases brain activity associated with disgust. Cheers to cheese (and wine)! Also, how do I sign up to be a subject in one of these studies?

b. As my mother always says, a little is OK, too much is no good. Kim Jung-un, that crazy dictator guy in North Korea[4], apparently has a bit of a wine and cheese problem. He’s tipping the scales at around 300 pounds, allegedly because he can’t stop popping Swiss cheese cubes and sipping on bottles of Bordeaux red wine. I feel your pain buddy, I feel your pain. He’s even bragged about having ten bottles before dinner. #cantstopwontstop

A Crazy Time in Celebrity Wine.

a. Brangelexit. Brangelina’s sudden breakup has left the state of their Miraval Rosé up in the air and the Château has allegedly been for sale since before the divorce bombshell broke. I was always on Team Jen, but I did taste the stuff a few times[5]. I admit, I didn’t want to like it, but I did. Perhaps now the bottle I still have in my cellar will be worth some money as a collector’s item.

Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Miraval
Château Miraval (c) People Magazine

b. Calling All Outlander Fans[6]. Claire and Jamie’s passionate love story has apparently spurned a line of wines. Not sure how I feel about this, although I usually am drinking a glass of wine while reading the books or watching the TV series. Sassenach Cabernet anyone?


c. Hello Kitty? I’ve never understood the allure, but my 3-year-old neighbor is obsessed[7]. Apparently enough adults are likewise enthralled, and a special edition of Hello Kitty Wines was recently released by an Italian winery who partnered with Japan’s Sanrio, creator of Hello Kitty. Turns out the wine is virtually impossible to find right now, so if you get some, let me know how it is so I can pass it on to my neighbor, for that time when she can drink wine in 18 years.

Hello, Kitty! (c) Torti Wine
Hello, Kitty! (c) Torti Wine

Until the next glass, Cheers!

Lawyer Footnotes
[1] And I’m not talking about the REAL polar shifts that apparently are happening, or already have happened, or may happen in the future, depending on who you ask.
[2] LA’s Ray’s and Stark Bar, an upscale eatery by the Patina Restaurant Group, purportedly has a FORTY. FIVE. PAGE. water menu. Yes. You read that right. 45 pages. Really?
[3] This has been added to the Wine Esquire’s Wine Bucket List. A free-flowing wine fountain. In Italy? How can I NOT go?
[4] I hope the government doesn’t come abduct me because I wrote about him. If I disappear, you’ll all know why.
[5] I’m a sucker for Rosé, pretty bottles, and pretty labels, and they pretty much nailed all three.

miraval rose brad pitt angelina jolie
Rosé All Day

[6] If you haven’t read them yet, please do yourself a favor and download Book 1 on your Kindle. I can pretty much almost guarantee you won’t be disappointed. Assuming you’re into time traveling historical romance kinda stuff. Disclaimer: If you don’t like it, it’s not my fault.
[7] She was the cutest damn “Spooky Kitty” for Halloween you ever did see.


By now you’ve probably heard about the massive earthquake that rocked central Italy this past week. The peaceful villages affected were literally sleeping when the quake hit, and entire cities have crumbled. My friend Laura, a fellow wine enthusiast and an Italian native, has instituted a fundraising effort through her family’s non-profit organization, Vertical Foundation, Corp. She’ll be hand delivering the funds to Italy to ensure it goes directly to on the ground recovery efforts. Please consider making a donation to help get these beautiful people back on their feet and help them rebuild their lives.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected.


Rescuers carry a stretcher following an earthquake in Amatrice, central Italy,  Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2016. A strong earthquake in central Italy reduced three towns to rubble as people slept early Wednesday, with reports that as many as 50 people were killed and hundreds injured as rescue crews raced to dig out survivors. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)           NYTCREDIT: Alessandra Tarantino/Associated Press
Rescuers carry a stretcher following an earthquake in Amatrice, central Italy, Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2016. A strong earthquake in central Italy reduced three towns to rubble as people slept early Wednesday, with reports that as many as 50 people were killed and hundreds injured as rescue crews raced to dig out survivors. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)
NYTCREDIT: Alessandra Tarantino/Associated Press
(C) Graphic News
(C) Graphic News



Wine News Roundup

Hello and welcome to your monthly selection of wine world goings ons[1]. You’re now ready for tonight’s cocktail party or the small talk that’s bound to happen in the office on Monday. You’re welcome.

File May 25, 5 08 34 PM
Gratuitous wine shot (c) Wine Esquire
  1. New Wine Bar Opens in NYC. Is this really news? Maybe not, but this looks like one of the best wine drinking locations ever[2], and I plan on checking out City Vineyard as soon as possible. So whether you’re a native New Yorker or you’re heading there for vacation, you should probably hit this place up and tag me in your wine selfie.
  2. Wine Thieves. I’m very much into not being a criminal[3], but I guess if I HAD to take a stroll down lawbreaker lane, I’d probably go in the direction of the villains who stole more than $200,000 worth of wine from two Barolo wineries…I mean, if I HAD to, ya know?
  3. Make Wine in Under an Hour. Traditionally, wine takes a while to make. We’re talking several weeks to months just to ferment, then months or years of barrel or bottle aging. By the time it’s done, it will likely be years before it makes its way into your glass. Well, scientists have discovered a way to make wine in about an hour. For now, it’s really just a science experiment, but who knows, maybe we’ll be making #instawine in the kitchen someday soon.
  4. Wine Vocabulary Lesson. Here’s the top ten wine words you need to know for your next cocktail party. #AlltheTannins
  5. Wine is Cheapest on Tuesdays. Timing is everything when it comes to most things in life. These researchers found out that weekends are the most expensive time to do just about everything[4]. And Tuesdays is the best time to buy your wine, which works out perfect for the #Under25Challenge[5].
(c) Forbes
(c) Forbes

Lawyer Footnotes
[1] Going ons? Goings ons? #grammar
[2] Hello sunset skyline wine shots!

[3] Hence the whole lawyer thing.
[4] Noooo, really?
[5] Next #Under25Challenge is TUESDAY, August 16. See you there.

File Mar 06, 8 46 00 AM

Wine News Roundup


Keeping you up to date with the latest wine news for all your small talk needs.

  1. What’s in Your Wine? Turns out there’s more than just grapes in there. Who knew? Not us, because there’s no label requirements for ingredients[1]. In addition to sulfite and woodchips, there may also be some Mega Purple, egg whites and fish bladders. Wait, what?
  2. You’ve Got Wine. In your mailbox. UPS is starting to ship more wine from France. Thank the Wine Gods! Because bringing seven bottles back in your suitcase is no joke.[2]File Jun 29, 9 18 21 PM
  3. Corkscrew Hacks. Since you never know when you’ll be on a romantic picnic in the park without a corkscrew, or making dinner without a functioning kitchen[3], you’ll want to commit these tactics to memory. Note: This problem would never happen to me because I carry in my purse. And in my glove box. And all over my house.
  4. The World’s Best Wine Costs $6. Yup. For real. And no, we don’t have it in America. Isn’t that unfair?
  5. Wine Theme Park Opens in Bordeaux. It’s been called the Disney World of Wine. I saw it from the outside while I was there and I’m pretty sure it looks like a slug. The inspiration was the swirl of wine in a glass. You be the judge. I can’t wait to go.

    (c) The Guardian

Lawyer Footnotes
[1] #lawyerlife
[2] #backproblems Not to mention the #baggagefee $$
[3] A functioning kitchen would clearly have a corkscrew. #amateurs